Thou Shalt Not Road Trip by Antony John

Author:Antony John [John, Antony]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781101561768
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2012-04-11T16:00:00+00:00

6:58 P.M.

The Goodly Shepherd Bookstore, Amarillo, Texas

Matt pulls up to the bookstore and dares to point out that we’re two minutes early. Somehow I manage not to smack him with Alex’s guidebook.

Fran and I jump out together. “You okay?” she asks, elbows resting on the roof.

I nod, although we both know it’s a lie. I haven’t showered. Haven’t peed. Haven’t changed clothes, except to throw on a creased white shirt over my filthy yellow T-shirt.

“Hey, good luck,” she says. “Knock ’em dead.… But not literally.”

“Better keep Matt away then,” I say, and Fran laughs. Her white teeth glisten in the streetlight, and yet again it feels like we’ve turned the clock back a year. I guess she knows that’s what I’m thinking too, because she closes her mouth, lips pulled tight in a thin line. “I’d better go,” I say. This time she just nods.

A woman with Clark Kent glasses and a businesslike ponytail is waiting for me inside. “Oh, thank goodness you’re here.” She pumps my hand once and guides me through the store like an excited sheepdog. “I’ve heard you like dramatic last-minute arrivals, but I couldn’t help wondering if you’d forgotten us altogether! I swear, I wasn’t looking forward to telling all these people you’d bailed on us. It’s the biggest crowd we’ve ever had.”

“Really? How many?”

“Three hundred or so, last time I looked. Could be four hundred by now.”

“Whoa.”

“Yes, whoa. Anyway, sorry if you get an earful from your publicist, but when you weren’t here at six fifty-five, I felt I had to call him.”

Oh, great. So Colin knows I’m late. Again.

“And here we are,” she says.

It’s the largest room I’ve seen so far. You could hold a rock concert in here.

A few people recognize me, and there’s a kind of staggered standing ovation as I wind my way toward the podium. The walk feels longer than usual, the eyes more weighted with expectation. I’m not in the right frame of mind to be doing this.

There’s a bottle of water by the podium and I drink the whole thing. By the time I’m done, the applause has stopped. As one by one they sit down, I stare at this ocean of people and wonder what on earth I’m doing here.

I give my spiel and everyone laughs, though the words feel dull and empty. I talk about the tour, but it’s so heavily edited I wonder if I’m just making it all up. If it weren’t for the breathless anticipation that awaits my every word, I honestly think I’d bring things to a close right now.

Clark Kent lady seems delighted with my paltry effort, and opens the floor to questions. The first comes from a guy near the door—like me, a late arrival.

“I saw you arrive in a Hummer,” he says. “Do you really think that goes hand in hand with your message of self-sacrifice, modesty, and charity?”

He’s got me there. The debate champion in me is scouring for a rebuttal, but the real me just doesn’t have the energy.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.